Leatherhead Matters

Entries categorized as ‘Men’

Housework and Sex:

June 30, 2008 · No Comments

Maureen Salamon at CNN must have been having a “get at hubby day” when she filed this report:

Jen Simmons loves to watch her husband Danny tend to their two little boys, mop the floor or hang a picture. She also finds it sexy.

The 36-year-old Camden, Delaware resident, a middle school teacher says:

I am very turned on when he’s doing housework. If there’s a sink full of dirty dishes, he knows I’m going to take care of that before I want to get intimate. If he wasn’t helping with the housework, I would not find that very attractive.”

Simmons’ attitude is pretty typical of married women, researchers say. They like it when their spouses share the household chores, but also find that — paradoxically — a husband may also create more work for them, or not contribute as much as women would like.

When a man does housework, it feels to the woman like an expression of caring and concern, which then physically reduces her stress,” says Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco-area psychologist and author of “The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework.”

Research found that men create, on average, seven more hours of housework a week for women. That extra work may not be as obvious as doing the dishes or mowing the lawn. So-called “emotional labour” — tasks like writing holiday cards, scheduling doctor appointments and planning family gatherings — is too often left to wives, says University of Michigan sociologist Pamela Smock.

Maybe just a tad one-sided perspective on harmonious married life?

Just to provide a male perspective to this mainly feminist view, I should add that I personally find it quite a turn on when Mrs Leatherhead goes up a ladder to fix the electrics or, gets all sweaty (sorry dear…perspires) when digging over the garden or, comes in all greasy & oily after some maintenance on the car or, best of all - in with a wet T shirt after fixing the plumbing in the basement!

Read Maureen’s full report HERE

Categories: Family · Marriage · Men · Sex · Women
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We Are All Paedophiles Now!

June 26, 2008 · No Comments

My father died just two years ago at the age of 87. In his latter years, I can remember having many discussions with him on the way British culture & society were changing. One issue which totally perplexed him was the change in the way society perceives male adults and children. He used to visit the local park in the summer and it was always with regret that he felt he had to refrain from engaging with the children who would come to chatter with the “nice old man” on the park bench. He understood that others might view him with suspicion but, he could never understand why.

I recalled these conversations when I read the following two articles.

 Mother told baby’s bare bottom is pornographic

A quarter of adults to face ‘anti-paedophile’ tests (Criminal Records Bureau checks)

Criminal Records BureauBritish society is now close to the point where everyone is presumed to be a paedophile unless the individual:

  1. Possesses a Government certificate (a Criminal Records Bureau check).
  2. Openly publicises they are CRB cleared, not just for a work or, volunteering position with children but, any contact with children. In effect, the CRB certificate is becoming part of our national identity & it will be as critical to effective functioning in our society as a driving licence & passport.
  3. Ensures their baby/child is always fully clothed for family pictures.

We appear to be sleepwalking to the point where even Mums & Dads will need to be CRB cleared if they don’t want the state snooping on their parenting practices.

My father couldn’t understand why our society automatically views with suspicion a public engagement between its senior citizens and children. This engagement between the elders of our society and our children has gone on for generations and is still a valued part of the culture in most other countries. He would understand even less our current direction of travel!

Categories: Children · Culture · Elderly · Men · OAPs · Safer Communities · Senior Citizens · Society
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Drag Racing?

June 18, 2008 · No Comments

Drag Racing 

 

Drag Racing -2

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: Humour · Men · Pictures
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Highest Pee’r in the Land

June 13, 2008 · No Comments

For US readers  Peer = peer of the realm = member of House of Lords: in Great Britain and Northern Ireland, a member of the nobility who has the right to sit in the House of Lords.

Click on picture for musical accompaniment by The Who..(with apologies for my dyslexia if I have confused P’s & S’s)

Pee

Categories: Humour · Men · Video
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Do You Know What’s In Your Spouse’s Wallet?

June 13, 2008 · No Comments

Well do you? Perhaps there has never been an era of financial transparency between couples.

Couples tend not to view themselves as “Partnership Inc.”, with a financial statement of income, operating costs, assets & debt to manage. Consequently, individual responsibilities for managing “Partnership Inc.” financial matters are neither clearly defined nor allocated. As in any enterprise this is a recipe for potential disaster, allocation of blame and the dissolution of the enterprise.

The lack of clarity leads to lack of transparency.

Half of the pairs in a 2003 study came up with completely different figures when asked to estimate their family’s income and net worth. In a survey last year of couples ages 43 to 70, some 35% were more than two years off when guessing when their spouse planned to retire.

About a third of those surveyed admitted to lying to their partner about money. And four out of five respondents in another poll revealed that they hide purchases from the one they love.

Without total transparency, you can’t come to smart decisions - or even joint decisions - if you don’t know what assets and liabilities you’re working with and what your partner’s goals and priorities are. Two heads really are better than one for solving financial problems. Failure to have all information available means you don’t know when your sailing close to the financial rocks, making a crisis more difficult to handle. Should your spouse become ill or, worse, pass away, you’ll be left scrambling to find bank accounts and insurance policies. And if you divorce, you’ll be at a real disadvantage in getting your fair share.

Fortunately, the solution is simple: Mostly, what you have to do is talk to each other. But, how do you approach what can often be a prickly subject?

Since talking about money matters often makes couples tense, New York City psychologist Bonnie Eaker Weil, author of Financial Infidelity, suggests taking regular “walk and talks,” which allow you to converse about difficult subjects while enjoying mild endorphin rushes from the exercise.

The promenade, which she says should last about 15 minutes, is an ideal time to indulge your financial fantasies - for example, what you’d each like to do if you won the lottery. Maybe you dream about spending a month in Brazil while your partner wants to collect Chinese ceramics.
You may conclude that you want to rev up your savings or cut expenses to accommodate such items. Conversely, you could decide that times are tough and that the fantasies will all have to wait until little Arabella and Toby finish college.

Walk-and-talks can make it easier to air problems too. Maybe you noticed your joint checking account was looking a bit anaemic. If you ask, they’ll usually tell. Refrain from immediately jumping down your spouse’s throat. You may not agree about it, but it’s important to know.

H/T  CNN Money

Categories: Financial · Marriage · Men · Women
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Jeremy Clarkson Assaulted by Japanese Toilet

May 27, 2008 · 1 Comment

Absolutely hilarious Jeremy Clarkson description of an encounter with a Japanese electronic toilet. I laughed ’til I cried. (The full article is in The Times Online)

…………There is one aspect of Japanese life that is neither similar to the system we have in Britain nor something we should covet: going to the lavatory.

This is a fairly standard procedure over much of the globe. Except in Germany, where you are invited to inspect your stools with a lollipop stick before flushing them away. Unfortunately, though, the Japanese have examined the simple water closet and decided that it could be improved with some electronics. The result, I’m afraid, is a disaster.

It’s why the Japanese economy is now in such a mess: all their top people and scientists are stuck in their bathrooms, unable to wipe their bottoms.

First of all the seat is warmed - and there is no way for the round-eye to know this, which means I had to sit there imagining the heat had come from the lorry driver who’d been the last person to use the motorway service-station cubicle. This is unnerving. Soon I became convinced that it was possible to catch encephalitis from the latent heat of a Japanese lorry driver’s bottom.

Wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible, I turned and discovered to my horror that the loo roll had been replaced with what can only be described as the Starship Enterprise’s dashboard. And it was all in Japanese.

The first button I pushed, with a trembly finger, made the seat get even warmer. Realising that unless I acted quickly I’d be cooked, I stabbed at another button - which made a gout of liquid nitrogen shoot up my bottom. So hurriedly, and in great pain, I turned a hopeful-looking knob that simply redirected the fountain into my scrotum.

In a state of some distress I pushed a slider control all the way down and immediately got a pretty good idea of what it might be like accidentally to impale yourself on the fuel rod from a nuclear power station. I was now in real trouble.

And I didn’t understand why. Who would want to steam-clean their nether regions? Who wants a lavatory seat that can reach the same temperature as a barbecue? And, conversely, who gets up in the morning and thinks: “I know, I’ll stop off at the Brue Boar services this morning and deep-freeze my testicles”?

Which brings me on to the next question. Why is it necessary to have directional control for the fountain of fire and ice? I can understand why a lady might need - and even enjoy - such a feature. But for chaps it’s jolly painful.

And then there’s the problem with the flush. The first button I pressed filled the cubicle with karaoke tunes. The second started the tap in the corner. It wasn’t till I got to the sub-menu in the eighth quadrant that I was treated to the sound of water being sucked away.

Unfortunately it was just the recording of a flush being played through the WC’s speaker system. Am I missing something here? I can think of no reason anyone might want to convince people in neighbouring cubicles that they are flushing the bog when in fact they are not. And why would you want to play this sound at a volume that could kill bats? Because, trust me, you can.

Finally I leant over the unit to see if there was a conventional handle, and somehow while doing this I made a jet of water squirt into my crotch. Which meant I eventually emerged from the cubicle looking as though I hadn’t bothered to lower my trousers. Everyone in the restaurant laughed at my misfortune. And once again I felt very much at home.

Categories: Humour · Men
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The Dignity of Champions

May 22, 2008 · No Comments

Like all Manchester United fans I was ecstatic at 10:45pm last nightChampionies. For fans of both sides it was a cliff hanger until the very last second. For neutrals it may not have quite been the “beautiful game”.

For me, the divide between the winners & losers in such a finally balanced match can be characterised in 3 incidents, one during the game and 2 afterwards.

Chelsea specialise in harassment of the referee. Contest everything, even the referees decisions is the Chelsea mantra. In the last period of extra time, Chelsea contested Tevez’s decision not to return the ball to them….cue for a Chelsea melee. Drogba slaps Vidic and is appropriately sent off by the referee. That was the match defining moment because Drogba’s stupidity meant that John Terry had to take the fateful last penalty. Drogba is moving on but, poor John Terry will have to live with his miss for the rest of his life.

In the formal award ceremony after the game, Bobby Charlton led the team. Platini the UEFA President tried to hang a winners medal around Charlton’s neck but, he wouldn’t have it. You could see him trying to explain that it wasn’t appropriate for him  to have winners medal round his neck….this was for the Manager & his team. Charlton has always been a role model for the best of everything in football & he has carried this through into his role of football dignitary.

At the end of the United queue to receive their medals were Ryan Giggs (team captain) & Rio Ferdinand (game captain). Rio has taken a long time to mature (as most centre backs do!) but, last night he showed both dignity & maturity. On the way to collect his medal a United fan had thrown him a scarf. As he walked along the platform to receive his medal, you could almost see the thought process of “I’m representing my club, I’m the captain….what should I do with this scarf?”.Think about the euphoria & other emotions coursing through his veins as he is abut to collect his medal!  First he put the scarf to one side,,,,then he realised there were several Russian children lining the walkway so, he goes back, picks up the scarf and gives it to one of the children. Now that’s real dignity when, at a time of personal triumph, you can still think about others. Later he gave an interview which re-emphasised his new maturity. He was calm, thoughtful and above all generous in praise for the losers (rightly so for a game settled only by penalties). 

Categories: Men · Personality · Psychology · Sport
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Women in Science & Technology & Engineering

May 22, 2008 · 1 Comment

WHEN IT COMES to the huge and persistent gender gap in science and technology jobs, the finger of blame has pointed in many directions. Why aren’t there more women in science and engineering? New research suggests: They just aren’t interested!

The United States, Norway, Switzerland, Canada, and the United Kingdom, which offer women the most financial stability and legal protections in job choice, have the greatest gender split in careers. In countries with less economic opportunity, like the Philippines, Thailand, and Russia, she writes, the number of women in physics is as high as 30 to 35 percent, versus 5 percent in Canada, Japan, and Germany.

Women make up almost half of today’s workforce, yet hold just a fraction of the jobs in certain high-earning, high-qualification fields. They constitute 20 percent of the nation’s engineers, fewer than one-third of chemists, and only about a quarter of computer and math professionals.

Over the past decade and more, scores of conferences, studies, and government hearings have been directed at understanding the gap.

Now two new studies by economists and social scientists have reached a perhaps startling conclusion: An important part of the explanation for the gender gap, they are finding, are the preferences of women themselves. When it comes to certain math- and science-related jobs, substantial numbers of women - highly qualified for the work - stay out of those careers because they would simply rather do something else.

One study of information-technology workers found that women’s own preferences are the single most important factor in that field’s dramatic gender imbalance. Another study followed 5,000 mathematically gifted students and found that qualified women are significantly more likely to avoid physics and the other “hard” sciences in favour of work in medicine and biosciences.

It’s important to note that these findings involve averages and do not apply to all women or men; indeed, there is wide variety within each gender. The researchers are not suggesting that sexism and cultural pressures on women don’t play a role, and they don’t yet know why women choose the way they do. One forthcoming paper in the Harvard Business Review, for instance, found that women often leave technical jobs because of rampant sexism in the workplace.

But if these researchers are right, then a certain amount of gender gap might be a natural artifact of a free society, where men and women finally can forge their own vocational paths. And understanding how individual choices shape the gender balance of some of the most important, financially rewarding careers will be critical in fashioning effective solutions for a problem that has vexed people for more than a generation.

A few years ago, Joshua Rosenbloom, an economist at the University of Kansas, became intrigued by a new campaign by the National Science Foundation to root out what it saw as pervasive gender discrimination in science and engineering. The agency was spending $19 million a year to encourage mentoring programs, gender-bias workshops, and cooperative work environments.

Rosenbloom had no quarrel with the goal of gender equity. But as he saw it, the federal government was spending all that money without any idea what would work, because there was no solid data on what caused the disparity between men and women in scientific fields.

To help answer the question, Rosenbloom surveyed hundreds of professionals in information technology, a career in which women are significantly underrepresented. He also surveyed hundreds in comparable careers more evenly balanced between men and women. The study examined work and family history, educational background, and vocational interests.

The results were striking. The lower numbers of women in IT careers weren’t explained by work-family pressures, since the study found computer careers made no greater time demands than those in the control group. Ability wasn’t the reason, since the women in both groups had substantial math backgrounds. There was, however, a significant difference in one area: what the men and women valued in their work.

Rosenbloom and his colleagues used a standard personality-inventory test to measure people’s preferences for different kinds of work. In general, Rosenbloom’s study found, men and women who enjoyed the explicit manipulation of tools or machines were more likely to choose IT careers - and it was mostly men who scored high in this area. Meanwhile, people who enjoyed working with others were less likely to choose IT careers. Women, on average, were more likely to score high in this arena.

Personal preference, Rosenbloom and his group concluded, was the single largest determinative factor in whether women went into IT. They calculated that preference accounted for about two-thirds of the gender imbalance in the field. The study was published in November in the Journal of Economic Psychology.

It may seem like a cliche - or rank sexism - to say women like to work with people, and men prefer to work with things. Rosenbloom acknowledges that, but says that whether due to socialisation or “more basic differences,” the genders on average demonstrate different vocational interests.

“It sounds like stereotypes,” he said in an interview, “but these stereotypes have a germ of truth.”

In the language of the social sciences, Rosenbloom found that the women were “self-selecting” out of IT careers. The concept of self-selection has long interested social scientists as an explanation for how groups sort themselves over time. Since human beings are heterogeneous, self-selection predicts that when offered a menu of options and freedom of choice, people will make diverse choices and sort themselves out in nonrandom ways. In other words, even given the same opportunities, not everybody will do the same thing - and there are measurable reasons that they will act differently from one another.

The concept of self-selection sets off alarms for many feminists. It seems to suggest that women themselves are responsible for the gender gap. It can also be an excuse for minimizing the role of social forces, including discrimination in the classroom and the workplace.

But self-selection has also emerged as the chief explanation in other recent studies of gender imbalance, including a long-term survey done by two Vanderbilt researchers, Camilla Persson Benbow and David Lubinski.

Starting more than 30 years ago, the Study of Mathematically Precocious Youth began following nearly 2,000 mathematically gifted adolescents, boys and girls, tracking their education and careers in ensuing decades. (It has since been expanded to 5,000 participants, many from more recent graduating classes.) Both men and women in the study achieved advanced credentials in about the same numbers. But when it came to their career paths, there was a striking divergence.

Math-precocious men were much more likely to go into engineering or physical sciences than women. Math-precocious women, by contrast, were more likely to go into careers in medicine, biological sciences, humanities, and social sciences. Both sexes scored high on the math SAT, and the data showed the women weren’t discouraged from certain career paths.

The survey data showed a notable disparity on one point: That men, relative to women, prefer to work with inorganic materials; women, in general, prefer to work with organic or living things. This gender disparity was apparent very early in life, and it continued to hold steady over the course of the participants’ careers.

Benbow and Lubinski also found something else intriguing: Women who are mathematically gifted are more likely than men to have strong verbal abilities as well; men who excel in math, by contrast, don’t do nearly as well in verbal skills. As a result, the career choices for math-precocious women are wider than for their male counterparts. They can become scientists, but can succeed just as well as lawyers or teachers. With this range of choice, their data show, highly qualified women may opt out of certain technical or scientific jobs simply because they can.

These studies looked at different slices of the working world, but agree that in a world in which men and women both have freedom of choice, they tend to choose differently.

They have a provocative echo in the conclusions of Susan Pinker, a psychologist and columnist for the Toronto Globe and Mail. In her controversial new book, “The Sexual Paradox: Men, Women, and the Real Gender Gap,” Pinker gathers data from the journal Science and a variety of sources that show that in countries where women have the most freedom to choose their careers, the gender divide is the most pronounced.

“It’s the opposite of what we’d expect,” says Pinker. “You’d think the more family-friendly policies, and richer the economy, the more women should behave like men, but it’s the opposite. I think with economic opportunity comes choices, comes freedom.”

Extracted from: The freedom to say ‘no’ - The Boston Globe

Categories: Education · Men · Personality · Science · Society · Women · Work
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The Difference Between Male & Female Brains

May 13, 2008 · No Comments

Absolutely brilliant video on the difference between a man’s & women’s brain. Rib tickling humour but, I think it may be true!

 

Categories: Humour · Men · Psychology · Women
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The Feminisation of the Modern British Male.

May 6, 2008 · No Comments

I come from a generation where males worried about losing their hair. The modern British male seems to be obsessed with proactively removing body hair. Remember the fuss about David Beckham’s “boyzilian” in an underwear advert? Or Frank Lampard’s waxed chest & armpits?

iconic statusIt’s now reached the stage where makeup for men is following a path long trodden exclusively by women. Men are starting to use  bronzers, concealers and tinted moisturisers as part of their every day beauty regime.

In school, boys now significantly under-perform females.

Is Nu Labour putting something in the water??

Read more in: The modern man receives a make-up call - This Britain, UK - The Independent

Categories: Fashion · Health · Men
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